Chat with the Counselors Article July 2010

Helping Your Child Develop Independence

From birth on, we struggle to achieve, maintain, and protect our independence.  As parents, we are often in a quandary about how to effectively support and encourage our children’s growing independence.

All children need choices and responsibility at age-appropriate levels to help develop independence.  Through experience and practice, children gain confidence to try new tasks and build self-esteem.  Toddlers are ready to make simple choices such as selecting what clothing item to wear or what breakfast food to eat.  Let them try (and fail) at new tasks.  Increase the level of responsibility and choices as the child matures.  School-age children can pack their own lunch, put up their clothing, help with assigned chores, and select an activity for family night.  Responsibilities for “tweens” may include learning to use an alarm clock, independently completing homework, using a planner to track homework and extracurricular events, and keeping their room organized.  Teens are ready for responsibilities that will help them transition to living on their own (dorm life) such as doing laundry, helping with family meal preparation, running errands, and maintaining a part-time job.

Fostering independence now will help your child transition to adulthood with confidence and success!